It has recently been brought to my attention that someone may or may not be masquerading as me! Odd that, only yesterday, I couldn't stop laughing at that joke, the one along the lines of: A Note to would-be identity theives: prepare not to get laid. I don't remember where I heard it, but I thought it was a lot funnier yesterday.

This is how I feel today, you guys! Last night was rough. For probably the first time ever, not only was Rachel NOT an hour late, but she was actually on time! We think that's why the whole night was so bizarre - I'm finding it difficult to articulate just why it felt so "down the rabbit hole", but the night started with us getting lost on the way to a place we go on a regular basis - I guess we never navigate that area of Echo Park during the day (or sober). I think, somehow, her showing up early created a shift in what was supposed to happen last night. Everything was so confusing. Two 40s and a six pack of Sparks Black, and innumerable drinks at Good Luck Bar (I think) later*, I wake up and I'm already at work! How did I get here, you guys? This Sparks stuff is amazing!



*I should mention that all this was between us, not me alone. I might have a problem, but it's not that bad, guys.

http://www.cpluhna.nau.edu/images/black_mesa.jpg
http://admin.hotkeys.com/template_images/90951767/america2.jpg
http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/mesa/
http://www.dbrinc.com/images/Med2.jpg

I should also take this time to talk about the surreal feeling today has brought:

* One single bird wing on the sidewalk today, the cleanest cut. I took pictures and people gave me weird looks, but COME ON, how often do you see an entire bird wing on the ground, sliced right off? How did that happen?*

* An elderly woman was lost on Wilshire. I met her at Fairfax and she was trying to find the bus towards Curson. She didn't really understand my directions, and as I had nothing better to do but mope and listen to the day sleepers, I walked her back to the bus stop she needed to go to. You know what her name was? Else Hajek.

* Not so much surreal, but as I was cleaning today, I bumped my bookshelf really hard and knocked a row of books off. My instincts told me to save them, and I tried, but when they all landed on the ground (Sorry William who lives below me!!) I had to laugh, because for some reason I thought I could hold all of that information, all of that knowledge in one hand...

Now I'm getting drunk off my Laphroig while I wait for Rachel to fetch me, because someone blocked me in to my parking spot.

Gurgle gurgle.


*And what does it mean?

Date:	2007-06-06 14:19
Subject:	MY MORNING:
Security:	Public
Mood:	cranky
Music:	scarface - no tears

Hey! So the thing I think is the most important thing in life is inspiration. You guys already know this about me. How do you get inspiration? You have experiences! New ones! Today I had a new experience. Do you want to hear about it?

Excuse me, but is (the?) Wu-Tang Clan anything to fuck with?


Please advise.

Tickets to Lima, Peru are $450 in the first week of September. Is anyone interested? My passport is lonely and dusty...

sadly, this is real. i wonder why i never sent it to him.

This is the opposite of how I feel today.

www.paperbackswap.com

i can't wait to get started.

In Burbank, on Riverside Drive, just as you're crossing Hollywood Way (going east?), the red hand that flashes when the light is about to turn yellow is missing the thumb and first finger, giving the illusion of a perpetual "OK" sign. I don't know why, but I've been thinking about this since I saw it three hours ago.

What does it all mean, you guys?!?


Brother Hajax and Cousin Sam: Are you going to G&G Moore's wedding anniversary?

in response to an e-mail full of pictures i sent to my gramma:

"The photos are very interesting; we like particularly the one of you
on the way to Coachella, the scene of what I'm vaguely aware of as an
annual --perhaps rock and roll festival? Otherwise I'm not aware of
reasons for people to set out for Coachella unless it's their old home
town. Is there maybe a prison there?"

I had my first sewing class last night. My teacher was Russell "MY FAVORITE COLOR IS SPARKLY" Whateverhislastnameis. I love him so, so much. He says stuff like "Chi-chi fa-fa" and you can't even say "crap" in class, you have to say "caca" which is unbelievably embarrassing and so I will be watching my language very closely, which is something new for me. I cuss a lot. Like, a lot, you guys. You know this already.

ANYWAY, he's very dramatic and slips into this Blanche Devereaux southern accent a lot, and calls his husband "Muh Beloved" with a hand over his heart, eyes cast upward, very sentimental and totally gay. We are making these stupid jammie pants. Mine will be pink with black polka dots. There's this black girl in class who picked her fabric and I was standing behind her and we noticed she had black fabric with pink polka dots and the look on her face was very....I don't know. You could just tell she was thinking "...Figures."

Today I signed up for:
Sewing classes http://sewingartscenters.com/
Marathon training http://aidsmarathon.com/
and contacted people to help me brush up on my French and ukulele.

I'm feeling very well rounded.

Also, tonight !!! is playing a free show at Amoeba and it's going to be me, Evan and Rachel - just like the weekend I first moved out here, when I met her for the first time.

I have officially lost my mind.

You know, it wasn't that long ago that film goers had the choice between The French Connection, Last Picture Show, Klute, The Conversation, Harold and Maude, McCabe and Mrs Miller (playing at LACMA in 4 weeks for interested parties...), Dirty harry and Clockwork Orange in one weekend.

Now I'm having trouble finding as many films I'd like to see before Thanksgiving. Thanks a lot, Jaws, thanks a lot. You ruined everything.

There are, however, four films that come to mind that I am definately going to be at, probably even opening night:

1. Knocked Up (Duh. This will be great, of this I am sure.)
2. Across the Universe (Quite possibly a huge failure, but only time will tell.)
3. Angel-A (I've had dreams much like this plot line.)
4. Eagle vs Shark (Oh my God. I am 100% sure that we, as a nation, are going to ruin this movie forever, so I'll have to see it right away so as to walk out and have two fucking days of untainted love for this film. Then we will hug it so hard we kill it, just like with Napoleon Dynamite.)

Tonight I have a screening to attend of Waitress, which I saw at Sundance and you all know what I think of this movie already. Then VC Film fest starts and I have a feeling I will need a lot of dates to accompany me to films neither of us really want to see. Tribeca, SFIFF, Cannes, Seattle, and then back arouns to LAFF. Everything full circle.

If I may be so bold:

Everyone must run out right now, like literally right now and purchase "The Mystery Guest" by Gregoire Bouillier. See, I only have one copy, and its orbit, so to speak, is going to be relegated to my circle of friends in Los Angeles for the time being and there is already a waiting list for this book and I promise you will all love it and it will make you think very hard and perhaps (hopefully) very differently about a lot of things in your own life and parallels and it will make your head hurt, but only in the best possible way. I'm serious here, it's a very short read, a novella if you will, only not because it's a memoir which can't be a novella at the same time and my heads is spinning from the last line which I finished the second before I pulled up livejournal to immediately make sure everyone who reads this, even you lurkers, read the book. 

Even if you don't like memoirs or novellas or Sophie Calle or meta bullshit or run on sentances or anything good ever, just read it and if you don't like it you can throw rocks at my head.

Ok, after posting this, I don't think I will ever be able to post another "OMG people who contact us at work are crrrrazy!!" entry, because nothing will ever, ever top this. (It's quite long, but so, so worth it). May I present 

Um...hangovers can't kill you, right? That's silly...right?

the kiss and its consequences.